Saturday, March 21, 2009

"I'm Pregnant"

I really didn't find out the way I always thought I would. About the end of Februrary I started to have alot of pain. Thinking it was my time of month even though I was late because I had the same problems back in December, but I didn't give it much thought until it got worse. Basically to the point of me not even being able to sleep. So I made an appointment to see the doctor. That was about March 4. He checked me out for cysts and told me that he saw something funny on the ultrasound, so decided to send me for a pregnacy test just to be safe. He sent me home with pain pills and told me that probably when my time of month comes that it will be painful.

The next morning around 8am, the doc calls and says "Your pregnacy test came back POSITIVE" . My response was "Your kidding". I was in total shock. Then he proceeds to tell me that he has concerns. He didn't see a baby on the ultrasound and my hormone levels were low. He was thinking that I was having a tubal pregancy. So we told our parents and asked them to keep it to themselves until we know something more. Over the next couple of days and week I had 5 more blood tests and 3 more ultrasounds to try and find out where the baby was. The thought was that maybe it was too early and that is why they couldn't find it, or the worse. Because of all the pain, we just weren't sure. The pain thank goodness was getting better and my hormone levels were going up. baby to be seen.

During this time it was very hard for Will and I. We were afraid to be excited about something that may not be. Stuck in limbo was the worst. But it was also a time of Faith. To have Faith that God had us in the palm of His hands and that no matter what happens we were going to just be OK.

So had an ultrasound scheduled for Friday, March 13, and told everyone it was on the next tuesday. We did that incase we still didn't know anything so we wouldn't have to explain to everyone again, that "Hey, we still don't know". And we didn't, not till monday. The doc finally called and told us, "yes" we found the baby, and it is where it is suppose to be." Finally!!!!!

So I went to the store, bought some onezies that had something Grandma on them and Will and I gave one to our mothers and told them, "5weeks and 3days". There were a few tears, but this time of excitment.

We then told them we are not quite of the water yet. We still had one more ultrasound scheduled to make sure the baby was growing, that was this past friday. So the update is, it is growing, but we have some things we need to watch, so the baby still needs some prayer and me as well. I have a blood pressure issue that does not seem to want to cooperate, so............Pray for us.

So that has been our adventure the last couple of weeks. Exciting, stressful, tearful, and faithful. We are excited and looking foward to our anniversary tomorrow and going away for a few days.


Sunday, March 15, 2009

God and I

I have neglated my blog because I couldn't write about what was really going on in our life right now, but I would like to finally write some about it or I guess ask a question to the small group of readers I might have out there.

Why are the most delicate blessings from God sometimes the hardest ones to take in at first? Is it because he wants us to truly appreciate what he is giving us, or is it a test of some sorts? Sometimes I wish I really could sit down with God with a cup of hot tea and ask away. I sometimes imagine it.......Me telling my funny joke, and probably be the only one laughing and God telling me how he first imagined me and knew that I would always question things. I imagine his eyes comforting and his smile peaceful and warming.

Then I wake up and realize that it was only a dream. In this relationship with God I also find myself wanting to be closer, wanting to see those eyes and feel His hugs.